using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
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so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
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At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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