Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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