I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
