We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
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He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
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I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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