i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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