sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
