so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
COCAINE IS GR8
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My feet surprised me
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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