i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize