my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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