I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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