I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
