I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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