Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I need water and some morals
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
