so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
