Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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