hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
