Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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