There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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