I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
