Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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