Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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