just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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