You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
