New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
