So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
