ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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