i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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