remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
