Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
