My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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