My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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