are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
