He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
