Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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