are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
