I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
