She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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