no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
