No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I need moral support for this bender
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
