I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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