If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
