She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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