He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
