yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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