I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt