Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live