Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
