Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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