I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
