Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
