I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize