It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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