Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
