He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
