For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
