Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
