Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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