i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
