how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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