I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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