Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
