Tell her she can't have a vagina
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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